Hands on your back


Peace Prayer of St. Francis

 Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy. 

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive, 
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.



 I’ve heard this prayer all of my life but until the last few years of becoming a mother, lots of therapy, and getting sober, I never really understood it. When Leo first received his autism diagnosis I would pray for it to go away. I would pray for it to be different. Then I realized what a gift autism is and I started praying that his gifts would be seen. That he would live to his fullest potential. That he would be exactly who God made him. 
I’ve found this prayer to be true in sobriety. Many may think I talk too much about the struggles that brought me here (I don’t really care) but here is why I talk. God tells us to pray and then to get up off our knees and act. Don’t just pray the hungry are fed, get up and feed them. In Alcoholic’s Anonymous we are told the way we stay sober is to share our story with others. To offer them a hand, to walk beside them with our collective hands on their back. Keep sharing your stories. Share even when you think no one is listening because someone is.
I’ve been accused in the past of being tender which I found completely horrific. Now, I so hate to admit this, tender may be the new me or the real me. I think there is a freedom that you find in your 40’s but also when you let the real you out. I have an amazing wife and the best kid on the planet. I also have the greatest group of friends and sisters (and a couple brothers) that love me and care for because of me not in spite of me. I’m not saying everyone needs to get sober to find this but you do need to take those layers off. I spent a lot of time protecting myself by keeping people at arms length because I was afraid of being hurt. The best gift I have found is that most people are good and kind. There are assholes out there (I’m looking at you DJT) but they don’t want to be around those of us who have found our light.
If you’re looking, if you need a hand on your back, please reach out. We’re all here for a purpose and that purpose is to love one another the way God, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, or Superman loves us. Hang in there friends...we’re in this together.
P.S. Now I’m going to listen to Motley Crue super loud because the old me still has some hang ups. 

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 3, 2019 at 6:50 PM

    I love this! Your story is your power..never forget that. Now go do you because you do her the best. I love YOU! Thank you so much for your hug on Sunday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. T.June 4, 2019 at 10:17 PM

      Anytime. I’m always there with a hug

      Delete

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