I’m even sick of myself.

As y’all know, I recently celebrated a year of sobriety. I was surrounded by many of my beloveds and received calls, texts, flowers, gifts, and love from many others. My son spent the evening with a few our favorite people and was loved beyond belief. I didn’t grow up like this. This abundance of blessings and love is not something I am used to. I was the kid that other people’s mothers didn’t want them to play with. I was the bad influence. In my 40’s, I’ve become this other person and I don’t know how to play it. I read a meme the other day that said, “I’m afraid if I heal from my trauma, I won’t be funny anymore.” While it made me laugh, it also struck a cord. I have been this hot mess for years and I got pretty comfortable in the muck. Now, with a giant shove from my therapist, I am cleaning off the muck and finding this person underneath it. I’m glad you have all stuck around because I have some of the best friends and family in the world. Before I go to sleep at night, I count all my blessings and even on a shit day, I usually fall asleep before I get to the end of the list. Despite my happiness and blessings, I still love cynical, mouthy, shit talking Teri. So, while you may see a little more tenderness here and there don’t be surprised when it comes with a middle finger and a string of profanity.

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 1, 2019 at 3:18 PM

    I love "I didn't grow up like this"
    I totally get it! Sometimes its hard for me to believe just how many doors God has placed in front of me.
    Some have been opened
    just a crack for me, as if to show me that it is "safe and Ok" to walk thru them. So many opportunities and blessings have just been layed at my feet for no reason at all other than I am loved and protected by the grace of God. This I know without anymore doubts.
    Revel in the Spirit of the Sunlight Teri !

    ReplyDelete
  2. Notorious LLGAugust 1, 2019 at 6:30 PM

    Hey. This is great stuff.

    Consider this . . .

    Somebody really smart told me years ago that one sure sign of maturity is the ability to recognize and carry two conflicting emotions in your body at the same time. Hit me right between the eyes.

    Welcome to adulthood — and to the childhood you should have had the first time around. Long ago, I learned as you are learning now that if you sit still long enough around good people, somebody or everybody will eventually parent your ass properly.

    You’re fab. Keep growing, but never change. (Also, #don’tgetmurdered)

    Xoxo,

    Lisa


    ReplyDelete
  3. KristinAugust 3, 2019 at 1:41 PM

    Love every word ❤️

    ReplyDelete

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