849 days

 I am not a poet. I'm not a poetry fan. I like about three poets and that's it. I wrote this after a particularly hard week followed by an amazing AA meeting and an even more amazing session with my therapist.


Today, I asked my heart. 

I've never done that before. 

I've relied on my wits and a game of chance.


I didn't think I would ever win.

The odds were never in my favor.

Was it a cosmic joke? 

I think God forgot the punchline so they used me instead.


Today, I finally asked my heart.

Are you finally safe?

Are you able to trust?

Will this love keep you forever in its arms?


No one is pulling the chair out as I try to sit.

My full house finally won the game.

Will that win hold me until the end?

I can't imagine wanting more because I only ever wished for the least.

The win was more than I expected and more than I ever imagined.


But, the dealers sit and wait for their next mark.

My soul is untouchable, blessed by the greatest grace and the universe.

When they tell me I didn't deserve it, they were wrong.

My blessing is greater than the fear, greater than the pain. 


There will be more, there always are.

My hand will extend and they won't believe its true.

Until it is and they are and the voices stop and the light shines.

That's the light that can't be put out. The power is yours and mine.

Bathed in the light, holding hands that don't hurt, and letting my heart answer.


It was worth the wait. 



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